HOW TO BE A GREAT SOCIAL DANCER
By Alexandra Y. Caluen, USA Dance #4031

(updated 9/06)

Whatever our reasons for first learning to dance, most of us who've learned any of the ballroom styles enjoy dancing socially. We all know certain ladies and gentlemen who are particularly pleasant partners.

A particularly pleasant gentleman …

Invites a wide range of partners to dance.
Escorts a lady on and off the floor.
Knows basic footwork and timing for at least five styles of dance.
Understands "line of dance."
Doesn't push.
Leads with his body.

A particularly pleasant lady …

Invites gentlemen to dance, especially if they are newcomers.
Lets a gentleman choose his starting point.
Knows basic footwork and understands basic leads.
Pays attention to her partner.
Laughs off any mistakes.
Has fun with what the gentleman is leading.

A particularly pleasant partner on either side …

Always declines a dance politely, and only when sitting out.
Keeps a steady frame.
Uses breath mints.
Keeps time with the music.
Avoids collisions.
Doesn't criticize or try to "teach" a social partner.
Takes classes to maintain and improve skills.
Thanks each partner.

A dancer who works at these qualities and skills will be a sought-after partner on the dance floor. Knowing a vast number of combinations is nice, but not necessary; the basics are all that's required to have a thoroughly good time dancing socially. Basic figures are well suited to the music played at a social dance. Furthermore, good technique begins and ends with the basics. The more you practice them socially, the better you will be when you dance more complex figures and combinations.

On the flip side, what makes a problematic partner?

A problematic gentleman …

Tries to lead complicated figures in a social setting.
Uses the same footwork for every style of dance.
Leads too hard.
Doesn't keep up with the music, or rushes through it.

A problematic lady …

Wants to "be danced around" and doesn't know her part.
Doesn't pay attention and misses leads.
Is weak and unbalanced in her frame.
Doesn't control her own dance space.

A problematic social partner on either side …

Only wants to dance with certain people.
Doesn't practice good hygiene.
Doesn't improve his/her skills over time.
Is a complainer.

DON'T LET IMPERFECTION SPOIL THE FUN

If you are dancing with someone who "feels" like a beginner, and you think you can help them fix a problem with their dancing, and if you feel you have a good rapport, you can ask if you might make a suggestion. Try NOT to say, "you're doing this wrong." It is much better to say nothing, grin, and bear it, than to make someone feel bad about what they are doing. Always dance to your partner's level.

If a social partner tells you that you're doing something wrong (and they're not a teacher), you can say, "Thanks, I'll mention that to my teacher." That type of response acknowledges what they've said while at the same time reminding them that they are not, in fact, your teacher. It's a constructive response to what may have been just tactlessness.

If you have a momentary conflict on the dance floor but on reflection it's not that serious, try to let it go. Holding onto grievances can ruin your enjoyment of dancing, and it poisons the atmosphere around you as well. Dancing, remember, is first and foremost supposed to be FUN!