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PERSONAL SPACE A beginning social dancer may think the hardest thing about learning ballroom is the footwork. What I and others have found more difficult, however, is the necessary proximity of one's partner. "Personal space" in American society is a big thing. We feel crowded if people stand less than an arm's length away; direct eye contact can seem like aggression. Put the two together and the effect is almost transgressive - a violation of the social rules we're accustomed to. And yet that's what we must do to dance together! We're also not used to being touched or handled by strangers. What to do with your hands has been discussed before (see the posted version on our website), but how to get used to the basic touching? It's not creepy; it's not like being groped in a bar; it's a necessary part of what we're doing; and yet it can cause us to feel shy, distracted, or anxious. Eye contact, when one is in dance position with a relative stranger, can be almost painful. In smooth or standard dances the eyes don't often meet, because of the dance position; but in rhythm or latin, it's a real issue. In all styles, one mustn't allow discomfort with physical proximity to affect the integrity of the dance frame. In class, you can ease yourself into it by focusing between your partner's eyes and looking away to the instructor occasionally. Don't avoid eye contact by dropping your head; watching your feet will never help, and staring at your partner's chest can be, depending on whether you're male or female, unwise. Don't stare constantly around the room, either. There really should be only two places you're looking: at your partner's face, or at your instructor. Once you begin dancing socially, you have
someplace else to focus, because you need to watch what's going
on around you. Even in rhythm or latin, you must be aware of those
dancing nearby so that you don't intrude on their dance space, can
avoid any incursions into your space, and can maneuver within your
space to best effect. But try to maintain this awareness with your
peripheral vision. Your attention should still, and always, be mostly
on your partner. |
