Social Dance Etiquette
By Alexandra Caluen

Social ballroom dancing is a world of its own, and social dances may be the only place we see an entire circle of our acquaintance, as well as a great place to meet new people. One thing to keep in mind at all times is that small courtesies are a large part of being a good social dancer.

Gentlemen, always present your arm to a lady who has agreed to dance with you, and lead her to your preferred starting point on the floor. Don’t invite her to dance, then walk away leaving her to follow. Don’t usher her before you, either; that forces her to look back at you for guidance as to where you wish to begin. After your dance, lead your lady back to her seat unless you agree to dance together again.

Ladies, if you ask a gentleman to dance, he should offer his arm when he accepts. If he hasn’t quite learned this yet, however, you may tuck your hand in his elbow as you accompany him to the floor. Both parties: always thank your partner after a dance.

Gentlemen, do not monopolize certain partners when at a general social dance. At dinner dances it’s acceptable to dance primarily with your partner or date and your table companions. However, at a social dance it’s polite to dance with others at least 50% of the time.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you decline to dance when invited, it’s the height of rudeness to accept the next petitioner for your hand. In other words, it’s okay to sit out a dance entirely, but don’t reject a partner and then accept someone else. The one who asked first will be sure to notice, and will probably never ask you again.

Ladies, if you really want to accept an invitation to dance but you’re afraid you don’t know enough, just say so: “I’d love to but I only know three patterns in West Coast Swing.” Most gentlemen will say it doesn’t matter at all, and will be glad to adjust their leading accordingly. Ladies, if you have invited a partner who says he doesn’t know the dance being played, ask for the following dance. One of the great things about ballroom is there are so many different dances to do!

All non-professional social dancers are reminded that we are not teachers. You may feel confident in your abilities, but teaching is a special skill; don’t assume you can communicate proper technique or mechanics to another student, especially someone dancing the opposite part. Only attempt to do so when asked. Gentlemen, do not try to “teach” a move through forceful leading. Your partner will usually only feel that you are pushing her around and will not enjoy dancing with you.

Also on leading, gentlemen: if you do not have clear footwork in your basics, or a steady frame, don’t blame your partner for a failure to follow well.

In addition to the above niceties, always observe the line of dance. Continuity dances such as foxtrot, waltz, quickstep, tango, and samba move counter-clockwise around an outside “track.” If you prefer to swing during foxtrots, please move to the center of the floor. Likewise, if you are a beginning dancer and haven’t yet mastered continuity style, or if you have a physical condition that keeps you from moving fast, please dance in the center. This will facilitate safer and more pleasurable dancing for everyone.

As a corollary, advanced dancers are reminded that years of practice do not give you special rights on the dance floor. Always be alert to those dancing around you. Ladies, always watch behind your partner so you can signal him to avoid collisions.

Do not practice competition routines during a social dance unless they can be done without stopping in the line of dance: no explosions, no drops, no picture lines, and definitely no lifts or assists. If you need a practice, ask the dance organizers if you can dance your routine as a showcase; most will be delighted to agree.

All dancers are encouraged to take regular classes or coaching sessions to continually improve. USABDA dancers in particular should strive to attain a high level of technique in footwork, floorcraft, and lead/follow. We love dancing enough to support a national organization; we should love it enough to keep learning.